Easy to be a man

Repost: originally written September 2006

I dont want to be a man. I like having breasts and hips and being able to get things by using those assets. I like being able to have multiple orgasms and being able to wear underwear that were intended for the opposite sex (ie boxers) without too much flack. But on days like today, I wish I were a man.

Today is the day I have to go to the doctor for my annual exam. Most men I know dont even go in for an annual physical of any kind and the really difficult part for them (the dreaded prostate exam) doesnt even start until they are 50. Ive been having these damn exams every year since I was a teenager.

And when was the last time a man went in to the doctor and had an open discussion about birth control options? Oh, that right, its my responsibility to make sure I m protected from getting pregnant with the pill or whatever. All he has to do is buy condoms occasionally and get congratulated by the 17-year-old bagboy at Walmart for getting laid. By the way, I also have no sympathy for any embarrassment a man may whine about for having to buy tampons for his girlfriend/wife. Its a small price to pay, we are the ones with the period.

Plus, in the next 10 years, Im probably going to have to start getting mammograms too. Cant wait for that. And dont forget I also carried another human being in my body for the better part of a year! What man would sacrifice his cigar smoking, drinking and general way of life for that? I would also like to pee without sitting down, but that's another story.

All right, Im done bitching. But Id love to hear any arguments for or against what I have to say. If you are a male reading this and you think women are the ones that have it easy, please defend yourself. Id love to hear about it! ;)