I shredded tonight - yay me! And I went so far as to take my measurements and weigh myself (and it wasn't even required by a doctor!) I haven't taken my before photo yet...must do soon.
Here's the starting stats:
Waist 37
Hips 48.5
Upper arm 14
Thigh 24.5
Bust 41
Weight 200.4
Ugh.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Day 1....
So, I'm back on the wagon. And I'm wearing my seatbelt so I don't fall off. Spark meal plans, workouts on lunch hours and 30-day shredding (I will complete the 30 days this time!).
Today I feel like I've been eating all day. Nothing awful, but something all the time...1/2 pita with cream cheese, raisins and nuts, a clementine, mini Jimmy John's sandwich, a pickle, peanut butter & blueberry sandwich, and now carrots & yogurt.
On another good note, I worked out at lunch time. A circuit of sorts at the war memorial. However, now I can't stop sneezing.
Today I feel like I've been eating all day. Nothing awful, but something all the time...1/2 pita with cream cheese, raisins and nuts, a clementine, mini Jimmy John's sandwich, a pickle, peanut butter & blueberry sandwich, and now carrots & yogurt.
On another good note, I worked out at lunch time. A circuit of sorts at the war memorial. However, now I can't stop sneezing.
These pretzels are salty
Way back, almost two years ago now, when Scott and I first started dating, he began a quest to cut back on the salt I eat. I like salt. It's yummy. I'm not much of a sugary snacker, but chips and crackers and popcorn and the like are my favorites. I would add salt to everything...including already processed (ie FULL OF SODIUM) foods and restaurant dishes.
I am proud to announce that Scott has succeeded. Lots of things taste salty to me now, unappetizingly. Some chips are too salty, salted popcorn is too salty, processed meats (roast beef I had on a sandwich today) are too salty! I don't add salt when I'm cooking and often I don't have to add salt to my meal and I try to never add salt at restaurants. The one time I usually do add salt is to a baked potato. Those still need salt to me.
My blood pressure has been creeping up recently (again) and I really don't want to go back on meds if I don't have to (I've been off for about 5 1/2 years). Today also marks the beginning of better eating for both Scott and I. The grocery trip included LOTS and LOTS of fruits, veggies, lean meats and whole grains yesterday. I'm starting the 30-day shred (again) with a group of ladies and I'm reminding myself who I am doing this for - ME. So I feel better. Look better. Am better.
I may not be able to do the mini this year but I'm ready for a comeback. Let's do this thing.
I am proud to announce that Scott has succeeded. Lots of things taste salty to me now, unappetizingly. Some chips are too salty, salted popcorn is too salty, processed meats (roast beef I had on a sandwich today) are too salty! I don't add salt when I'm cooking and often I don't have to add salt to my meal and I try to never add salt at restaurants. The one time I usually do add salt is to a baked potato. Those still need salt to me.
My blood pressure has been creeping up recently (again) and I really don't want to go back on meds if I don't have to (I've been off for about 5 1/2 years). Today also marks the beginning of better eating for both Scott and I. The grocery trip included LOTS and LOTS of fruits, veggies, lean meats and whole grains yesterday. I'm starting the 30-day shred (again) with a group of ladies and I'm reminding myself who I am doing this for - ME. So I feel better. Look better. Am better.
I may not be able to do the mini this year but I'm ready for a comeback. Let's do this thing.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Trying again...
I'm going to get back on track...I'm going to eat well and workout and very carefully track my results for the next few months. I really feel like something is still not right in my body, but it's hard to prove it to my doctor if I've been lazy about doing my part of taking care of me. It's getting nice now and despite my red, swollen, itchy eyes and constant coughing and sneezing (thanks a lot, pollen); I'm itching (pardon the pun) to get out and workout outside. I want to run, do strength and speed drills (speed ha!) and bike. I want to swim too, but we're not quite for ready for that outside!
So, it's time. This weekend is it. I'm not sure why its so hard for me to get started this time. I've done this before. I've started from scratch and I DID IT! But I've also failed and that's what must be holding me back this time. It's really tough to come out of this hole and say "I do have some control. I can make my body do things that I want it to do." Wish me luck.
So, it's time. This weekend is it. I'm not sure why its so hard for me to get started this time. I've done this before. I've started from scratch and I DID IT! But I've also failed and that's what must be holding me back this time. It's really tough to come out of this hole and say "I do have some control. I can make my body do things that I want it to do." Wish me luck.
Friday, March 18, 2011
I hate shopping
...at least clothes shopping. I've never liked it much because my legs are so short and nothing seems to fit me the way they're intended to fit (at least in the way I think they're supposed to fit).
But after months of trying to lose weight to no avail...in fact, I think I gained a pound, I've decided that I'm going to try to be okay with this body if its the one I'm supposed to have. I'm not going to stop working out and trying to eat better, but I'm also not going to stress too much. That's not good for me either. So I went to Kohl's today and spent a lot of money on clothes (okay, the amount is what some people would spend on a pair of boots, but for me it was a lot).
So here's what I scored:
2 pairs of grey dress pants (I hate the word slacks)
2 pairs of black dress pants
1 pair of jeans
1 pair of khaki pants
2 cotton dresses (one that is black and can be dressed up)
1 denim shirt dress
2 bras
3 pairs of panties
a pair of tights (for next winter - they're so warm!)
a bathing suit
1 scarf
1 belt
a pair of arm warmers that I've been coveting all winter
and 3 pairs of shoes
I also got some fabric tack.
And lastly, I almost forgot, I got something for a soon-to-be-mom friend.
I also got my hair cut and ate at one of my favorite breakfast places.
But after months of trying to lose weight to no avail...in fact, I think I gained a pound, I've decided that I'm going to try to be okay with this body if its the one I'm supposed to have. I'm not going to stop working out and trying to eat better, but I'm also not going to stress too much. That's not good for me either. So I went to Kohl's today and spent a lot of money on clothes (okay, the amount is what some people would spend on a pair of boots, but for me it was a lot).
So here's what I scored:
2 pairs of black dress pants
1 pair of jeans
1 pair of khaki pants
2 cotton dresses (one that is black and can be dressed up)
1 denim shirt dress
2 bras
3 pairs of panties
a pair of tights (for next winter - they're so warm!)
a bathing suit
1 scarf
1 belt
a pair of arm warmers that I've been coveting all winter
and 3 pairs of shoes
I also got some fabric tack.
And lastly, I almost forgot, I got something for a soon-to-be-mom friend.
I also got my hair cut and ate at one of my favorite breakfast places.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Body Betrayal
I know that none of us have complete control over our bodies and health, but it's still extremely frustrating sometimes. Obviously over the past year or so this has been a struggle for me. The loss of control has become more acute to me as I've gone on more and more medications and supplements to try to prevent inflammation and infection, keep my energy levels up and keep in check the other organs that have gone out of whack.
Today I was betrayed by my body once again. I had decided to try Mirena for birth control. For those not in the know, Mirena is an interuterine device, meaning it is inserted in the uterus and releases hormones for up to five years to prevent pregnancy. I had talked to my gynecologist and after I got a relatively clean bill of health after being treated for cervical abnormalities (surgery last December), we were going to do the insertion today. Unfortunately my cervix will not allow the IUD to pass through to the uterus. He tried a couple times (I tried my damnest not to cry from the cramping) and it wouldn't go. He said he could have forced it, but at the risk of causing infection or other injury, didn't feel that would be a good idea. I started to cry. Not because of the pain (not that it wasn't awful), but because of the betrayal. My body not allowing me to do something I wanted - yet again.
So we went another route. I'm not sure what the cost will be yet - I'm trying not to worry about that - but I went with Implanon instead and I was able to get that done today. Implanon is a small flexible rod that is implanted in my upper arm. It releases the same hormones as Mirena and it is left in for 3 years. I think in a week or so I'll be fine with this option and possibly even see benefits to it compared to Mirena, but I feel so betrayed right now it's hard to see the good side. Thankfully I had included Implanon in my research so it wasn't a completely foreign option to me.
The doctor did tell me something else interesting though that is helping me feel a little better about something else. He said that the problem with my cervix would probably prevent me from ever birthing a child vaginally. I had already decided that I will not have any more children (hence the long-term contraception) ... partly because I am ready to continue forward with my life with the family I have not and love rather than add to it; and partly because having more children would not be a sound decision with my current (and future) health condition.
But the one hard part in all this for me was the strong desire to have the pregnancy and birth experience I really wanted and had always imagined - a natural one (yeah, yeah, I know I'm nuts). So I guess if that is most likely an impossibility anyway, I can let go of that desire and move forward. I'm going to try to let this bitterness go and enjoy my day off shopping tomorrow and enjoy next week at work before we go on our mini-trip to Chicago.
Oh...and my blood pressure was also pretty high today (and last week when I went to the doc) so I'm a little concerned about that but worrying isn't going to help me much.
Today I was betrayed by my body once again. I had decided to try Mirena for birth control. For those not in the know, Mirena is an interuterine device, meaning it is inserted in the uterus and releases hormones for up to five years to prevent pregnancy. I had talked to my gynecologist and after I got a relatively clean bill of health after being treated for cervical abnormalities (surgery last December), we were going to do the insertion today. Unfortunately my cervix will not allow the IUD to pass through to the uterus. He tried a couple times (I tried my damnest not to cry from the cramping) and it wouldn't go. He said he could have forced it, but at the risk of causing infection or other injury, didn't feel that would be a good idea. I started to cry. Not because of the pain (not that it wasn't awful), but because of the betrayal. My body not allowing me to do something I wanted - yet again.
So we went another route. I'm not sure what the cost will be yet - I'm trying not to worry about that - but I went with Implanon instead and I was able to get that done today. Implanon is a small flexible rod that is implanted in my upper arm. It releases the same hormones as Mirena and it is left in for 3 years. I think in a week or so I'll be fine with this option and possibly even see benefits to it compared to Mirena, but I feel so betrayed right now it's hard to see the good side. Thankfully I had included Implanon in my research so it wasn't a completely foreign option to me.
The doctor did tell me something else interesting though that is helping me feel a little better about something else. He said that the problem with my cervix would probably prevent me from ever birthing a child vaginally. I had already decided that I will not have any more children (hence the long-term contraception) ... partly because I am ready to continue forward with my life with the family I have not and love rather than add to it; and partly because having more children would not be a sound decision with my current (and future) health condition.
But the one hard part in all this for me was the strong desire to have the pregnancy and birth experience I really wanted and had always imagined - a natural one (yeah, yeah, I know I'm nuts). So I guess if that is most likely an impossibility anyway, I can let go of that desire and move forward. I'm going to try to let this bitterness go and enjoy my day off shopping tomorrow and enjoy next week at work before we go on our mini-trip to Chicago.
Oh...and my blood pressure was also pretty high today (and last week when I went to the doc) so I'm a little concerned about that but worrying isn't going to help me much.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
So I failed...
I made some grand promises to blog regularly blah blah blah....and I failed at that. However, I have been doing a good job of being a more affectionate girlfriend some of the time. I had no idea how much more busy I would be at work and how that would affect my non-work time.
I am so exhausted at the end of the day right now that I barely make it Annyka's bedtime before I'm crashing. So I've done a poor job of a) blogging and b) working out. And now I'm awake and anxious at 4 am and hoping that a little blog therapy will help me get another hour or so of sleep. Some thoughts this early am:
* I need to get back into the habit of daily (or at least 5 or so days a week) cardio. And not just working out in my basement. I NEED that alone time running, swimming or biking to decompress now more than ever. When I'm dreaming about work and reports, it's not a good thing.
* I want to use some of my tax money (whenever I get it...still waiting...) to make a little home office upstairs. I think it would help me feel a little more in control of the work, but I also need to put a room divider up between the office area and sleeping area so theres no crossover.
* I'm also ready to get this tax money back (and it's pretty hefty this year) so I can fence the yard, pay for my summer vacation and pay back myself and my mom for money I've borrowed out of their accounts while waiting for this money. GRRRRR. I HATE owing money (even when it's just to my own savings accounts). Oh, and of course, pay off medical bills, per usual for my life these days,
* My cat is so happy I was awake at 4 am so I could let him in from the rain. Silly cat.
Okay, going to go attempt sleep again. See you on the flip side.
I am so exhausted at the end of the day right now that I barely make it Annyka's bedtime before I'm crashing. So I've done a poor job of a) blogging and b) working out. And now I'm awake and anxious at 4 am and hoping that a little blog therapy will help me get another hour or so of sleep. Some thoughts this early am:
* I need to get back into the habit of daily (or at least 5 or so days a week) cardio. And not just working out in my basement. I NEED that alone time running, swimming or biking to decompress now more than ever. When I'm dreaming about work and reports, it's not a good thing.
* I want to use some of my tax money (whenever I get it...still waiting...) to make a little home office upstairs. I think it would help me feel a little more in control of the work, but I also need to put a room divider up between the office area and sleeping area so theres no crossover.
* I'm also ready to get this tax money back (and it's pretty hefty this year) so I can fence the yard, pay for my summer vacation and pay back myself and my mom for money I've borrowed out of their accounts while waiting for this money. GRRRRR. I HATE owing money (even when it's just to my own savings accounts). Oh, and of course, pay off medical bills, per usual for my life these days,
* My cat is so happy I was awake at 4 am so I could let him in from the rain. Silly cat.
Okay, going to go attempt sleep again. See you on the flip side.
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